I went back and read every single post that I've done here, and I realized how much it had helped me grow and learn, and reading it again, I re-learned things that I had forgotten about. It's why I've decided to start writing again. It's so cathartic to me and it's a public journal of sorts. I hope to print it off someday and have a hard copy to reference back to.
My last post was on February 20, 2013, asking for help in finding a man. Funnily (and wonderfully) enough, I met someone on ldsplanet.com (he sent me the first note) on March 20, 2013. His name is Jason Stradling and we both went to Mesa High School, graduating just a year apart, though we didn't know each other.
We dated "virtually" for a solid month via Skype; met in person for the first time on his birthday, April 19, 2013; got engaged on Memorial Day weekend (specifically May 24, 2013); was married civilly by my brother-in-law Ron Derrick on August 29, 2013; and we were sealed for eternity by my former stake president and current Mesa, AZ Temple President (and good friend of my dad's) Brent Hatch on November 28, 2014.
Needless to say, 2012 was by far the worst year I have ever, EVER had - that ANYONE should ever, EVER have, yet Heavenly Father made it up to me by giving me the best year ever in 2013. My husband is the best person for this girl and I am so grateful He (Father) made me wait until I was ready for my Jason.
Skip ahead a few years and unfortunately, the depression and anxiety got worse in 2015, so much so that I had to go on FMLA leave and eventually leave my job at Central Utah Clinic (now Revere Health) because I was so mentally sick I couldn't function properly at my job.
I now help Jason with the many things he does: he installs laboratory furniture; he does handyman work; he wrote a how-to guide on making covert mantels and sells the plans on eBay; and he makes marble runs (see videos). I help him (occasionally and barely) with some of the jobs, but mostly I help by doing the administrative things for him, as well as be a housewife. I have never, in all my days, thought I would enjoy being a housewife, but I like having Jason come home to a clean house with dinner in the oven. I like having someone to take care of.
Tears still come at the most random times, but I have been seeing a counselor, meeting with my bishop as well as seeing a psychiatrist who has got me on a few different types of pills that seem to smooth out my chemistry to the point of functioning fairly well on a regular basis.
I am still trying to find another job, but if we can swing it, I would rather work for my husband and myself than for anyone else. It's easier to be normal (my normal anyway) when I don't have to be "on" for others.
Anyway, hope all is well and wonderful. I hope to have more things to write about and have them be a bit more upbeat than what has happened in the past.
Oh, and speaking of hope - it's our word for 2016. I love that it naturally comes in so many of my sentences!
Love to all.
Tara
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