I love my husband. I love him so much - it's a kind of love that I could have never imagined and I am so incredibly grateful that I am blessed to experience it from him as well.
One of the things I love most about him is his insatiable desire for knowledge. There isn't a subject that he finds boring. He loves to look things up on YouTube, the scriptures, Facebook, and the Internet in general.
Today is Sunday - we didn't bring Church clothes with us to Albuquerque, so we decided to once again lay low. We had our free breakfast here in the hotel and then stayed in our room for the entire day, just keeping it low key. At one point I looked up and he was intently studying something.
I believe he was looking at homes that were built out of those large metal shipping containers. He is always, ALWAYS looking, researching, pondering, praying, studying, etc., and his brain keeps things locked in there so he remembers EVERYTHING.
I love this man with all my heart, body and soul and am incredibly grateful for his intelligence and curiosity.
He makes me feel completely and wholly safe.
Happy Sunday everyone.
Because yesterday was a down time day, we wanted today to be an up-and-at-em day where we went and did stuff, staying away from the hotel as long as we could. It started out great, since we get a "free" breakfast each morning for staying at this hotel (rather decent - bacon, eggs, potatoes, biscuits and gravy, of course being New Mexico there was a green chili gravy too, waffles, etc.), Jason and I went to breakfast together (he usually goes about an hour or so earlier than me because he has to leave for work), so it was awfully nice sitting together eating.
We came back to our room, looked up movies to see what is on these days and found a movie (Jason Bourne) for 10:15 a.m., which is the cheapest time to go, so SCORE on that! It was at the IMAX theater and it was a typical Bourne movie. Lots of action, violence and wiggling of the camera. Left with a headache.
We drove around a little and found Trader Joes. I was as excited to go there as a kid to Disneyland. We purchased some chips/salsa and some popcorn for our movie night tonight and left. By then we were hungry for lunch (it was around 1:30-ish).
We ate at Fuddrucker's and were so excited to find one. They have them all over here. Jason got (surprise) a burger with green chili on it and I got their chili cheese fries, which I used to get all the time at the one in Mesa off of Longmore. They were as good as I remembered them being, and they didn't cost a whole lot.
We then walked around the mall a bit, which is Jason's personal hell (though he was a great sport about it). Didn't buy anything. Got in the car and drove east to a mountainous area where SASS is located. Shocker of all shocks, it was a gun shooting range - apparently world renown. I didn't mind. It was a nice drive and I always enjoy seeing Jason get excited about anything (he's so mellow usually).
We decided to come back to the hotel. It was 5:00 and time for our free mocktail - orange and pineapple juices and grenadine syrup. I can't drink them, so Jason got his and I did another load of laundry and he went into the hot tub.
We are now back in our room, freshly bathed and in our jammies and are getting ready to watch a movie of some sort. We haven't settled on one yet, but will soon enough.
Yet another great day together with my favorite fella and hardly any $$ spent. Success!
Ever had down days? If not, I encourage them greatly.
I don't mean down like being depressed and down. I mean days that I used to call lazy days, but instead now refer to them as down days.
Today was one of those days.
Jason and I have been in Albuquerque, NM for a laboratory installation job since August 9, and we will be here until August 24. He has worked six days a week since we've been here. Today is a Friday and there isn't anything else to do on the job until Monday when more parts come, so today I encouraged him to do a down day.
He was able to get a lot of things done, both professionally and personally. He got a bunch of quotes worked on, answered emails, took a soak in the hot tub then went swimming with me, and then we both took a nap - a gloriously long nap. After we woke, he went back to looking at You-Tube videos (something he loves to do and you would be amazed [or bored] out of your mind at what he finds to be entertainment). I made sandwiches for dinner (we have a fridge and microwave in our hotel room) and he's back in the hot tub.
A perfectly perfect down day that recharges batteries, loosens up achy backs, gives us a good dosage of Vitamin D and just a day spent together. Not a whole lot of talking, just laying low for the day with each other
If you haven't tried it I could not recommend it enough.
Today was a great day.
Words are an incredible thing. Words that are said, thought, implied, received, etc. are powerful and can do so much damage and/or so much uplifting.
We never know what kind of day a person is having - even if on the surface they seem to be "fine" we really don't know that.
A favorite quote of mine I believe attributed to Marjorie P. Hinckley says, "You can love anybody once you know their story." I firmly believe this and all it takes are words to get to know somebody.
At work I once did an exercise where we had to write down what we thought people would say at our funerals, since that's usually (sadly) the time when all the niceties come out. I thought it was also a great way to build our own selves up by thinking about what others see in us. It's also a wake up call to work on things that put people off.
The words I think of for myself (and please know I'm not fishing for anything from you specifically) are some good, some not-so-good:
- Smiley
- Annoying
- Kind
- Selfish
- One-sighted
- Complainer-y
- Friendly
- Sensitive
- Good
- Loved
- Snotty
- Singer
- Happy
- Sad
- Rule Abider
- Depressed
- Joyful...
...just to name a few.
I personally don't like thinking people are annoyed with me, yet I have no doubt, NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that they are and probably often. I appreciate the fact that most of them don't tell me how annoying I get to be. I am fairly self-aware and recognize when I am dumb, annoying, obnoxious, etc. It's almost like an out-of-body experience when I am that way because I know better and I think my true nature is not that way.
I dunno - maybe you disagree.
I am working on being more aware of others and their needs. I've always been fairly sensitive to those around me (it's something I pray for every night, actually), but I also let myself get in the way, which in turn has people annoyed or angry with me. And while I shouldn't care too much about what others think of me, I DO CARE and it's important to me to bring more joy/happiness/kindness to the world around me. If it's something I can do, then I wanna do it.
And now I probably sound awfully full of myself. Sorry, though not sorry. It's who I am.
I think.
Hi there. Remember me? Tara? The Depressed Diva you all so adoringly put up with?
I went back and read every single post that I've done here, and I realized how much it had helped me grow and learn, and reading it again, I re-learned things that I had forgotten about. It's why I've decided to start writing again. It's so cathartic to me and it's a public journal of sorts. I hope to print it off someday and have a hard copy to reference back to.
My last post was on February 20, 2013, asking for help in finding a man. Funnily (and wonderfully) enough, I met someone on ldsplanet.com (he sent me the first note) on March 20, 2013. His name is Jason Stradling and we both went to Mesa High School, graduating just a year apart, though we didn't know each other.
We dated "virtually" for a solid month via Skype; met in person for the first time on his birthday, April 19, 2013; got engaged on Memorial Day weekend (specifically May 24, 2013); was married civilly by my brother-in-law Ron Derrick on August 29, 2013; and we were sealed for eternity by my former stake president and current Mesa, AZ Temple President (and good friend of my dad's) Brent Hatch on November 28, 2014.
Needless to say, 2012 was by far the worst year I have ever, EVER had - that ANYONE should ever, EVER have, yet Heavenly Father made it up to me by giving me the best year ever in 2013. My husband is the best person for this girl and I am so grateful He (Father) made me wait until I was ready for my Jason.
Skip ahead a few years and unfortunately, the depression and anxiety got worse in 2015, so much so that I had to go on FMLA leave and eventually leave my job at Central Utah Clinic (now Revere Health) because I was so mentally sick I couldn't function properly at my job.
I now help Jason with the many things he does: he installs laboratory furniture; he does handyman work; he wrote a how-to guide on making covert mantels and sells the plans on eBay; and he makes marble runs (see videos). I help him (occasionally and barely) with some of the jobs, but mostly I help by doing the administrative things for him, as well as be a housewife. I have never, in all my days, thought I would enjoy being a housewife, but I like having Jason come home to a clean house with dinner in the oven. I like having someone to take care of.
Tears still come at the most random times, but I have been seeing a counselor, meeting with my bishop as well as seeing a psychiatrist who has got me on a few different types of pills that seem to smooth out my chemistry to the point of functioning fairly well on a regular basis.
I am still trying to find another job, but if we can swing it, I would rather work for my husband and myself than for anyone else. It's easier to be normal (my normal anyway) when I don't have to be "on" for others.
Anyway, hope all is well and wonderful. I hope to have more things to write about and have them be a bit more upbeat than what has happened in the past.
Oh, and speaking of hope - it's our word for 2016. I love that it naturally comes in so many of my sentences!
Love to all.
Tara
