Wow. It's been three months since I last posted. That was not intentional.
And given that it's December 23, almost the end of this bah humbug time of my life, I thought it appropriate for this to be my last post of the year...
A friend of mine challenged me to adopt a theme word for the year. It's something I have never done before, but she did it every year and it sounded like a good idea - something to achieve in everything I did.
I chose the word Change. Wholly smokes did I not have a single clue as to how "perfect" that word was for Tara's 2012.
It started with me getting let go from my employment - this was (and continues to be) a place that I was happiest, next to being with my family. That says a lot because I love my family fiercely and would be okay spending the rest of my life near to them.
My boss felt it was time for me to go and let me go with a hug and plenty of tears (mine, of course) and a rather generous severance package.
The severance package enabled me to build up some savings as I was able to get a temporary job with a law office at the beginning of April. The pay was less, but I was working and learning new things and it was nice to be in an office again with some pretty terrific people. I met a friend there who I believe will be a life long friend, so for that, I will be forever grateful.
While working at the law office, I met a fella. Actually I re-met a fella. We were in the same seminary class together way back when. He re-introduced himself to me through Facebook, eventually asked me out on a date, and it was like/interest/eventual love at almost first glance. He shared very personal things with me that would scare many women. It probably should have scared me, but it didn't. I felt with the atonement and our friendship and love, we would thrive as a couple. He felt the same way and three weeks later he proposed and I accepted.
This is the first and only time I have ever been engaged. I loved every second of it...
...Until he decided I had too many issues to deal with that he didn't feel would work in a marriage, or at least a marriage to him. I'm really not trying to place or lay blame here, but ultimately it was him who called off the wedding, returned my ring to me (along with the cost of it) as well as give me back the truck we purchased together (though in my name).
That was one of the lowest points of my life, and especially this year - going from the highest of highs and planning a life WITH someone, to the lowest of lows, being rejected by someone who frankly had more issues than I did. It was not a good time.
And the hard times kept coming, when my boss pulled me in and told me he could hire an attorney (fresh out of law school) for the same salary he was paying me. This new attorney could do what I was doing as well as do legal stuff that I couldn't. So he gave me until the end of October to find another job. He moved me to hourly pay to allow me to come and go as I pleased, paying my health insurance through the end of October. I was done working full time for him when the first week of September ended. The blessing in all of this was the fact that I had a little savings because of the severance pay from Infusionsoft.
I worked and searched on my computer every day, filling out application after application, sending my resumes everywhere I could. I just wasn't getting feedback and I was frustrated because when people did take a moment to talk to me, they told me my talents and capabilities were extraordinary, but I was too expensive, so much so it wasn't even worth it to people to call me in to an interview.
My spirits were low. Really low. And during this time I got a strong impression that I needed to look for jobs in Utah. I didn't WANT to move to Utah. I had my own house that I loved, my sister and her family who were MY family, a great ward family, etc. My life was in Arizona. I had no problem with Utah as my mom and a couple of sisters, as well as aunts and uncles and cousins live in Utah, but it wasn't home and I wasn't interested.
But the feeling kept coming and interesting jobs were being shown to me through indeed.com - more interesting than any I have been seeing in Arizona. So I started applying. And I got a couple of phone calls out of it and even one interview, which turned out to be more of a pre-interview - they weren't ready to hire for the position I applied for (weird, I know) but felt I was exactly who they were looking for when the time came.
So I made it back to Arizona and kept on applying. I got an email from someone at the very end of September. She was the Director of Human Resources for Central Utah Clinic. They had recently hired a new C.O.O. who asked to have an assistant. She was curious why I applied because I lived in Arizona and I told her I felt like I needed to be there. She liked my answers and asked if I could make a trip to Utah for an in-person interview. I made it happen (if you've ever listened to my voicemail - both at work and on my cell - you know I live by that rule - I make it happen) and was able to fly to Utah on conference Saturday (October 6), had an interview on Monday, October 8, and was hired on Wednesday afternoon, October 10. My start date was Monday, October 29.
I had very little time to list my house, de-junk my house, pack up my house, figure out a way to truck my house to a different state (including my piano), and turn off everything I could (cable, other services, etc.) and drive up to Utah. There was a blessing in the (stupid) truck. I still had it and it made the drive up a whole lot easier. And when I eventually listed it here, I had a ton of calls on it and eventually was able to sell it (for about $1,000 less than what I purchased it for) and get it off my personal books and out of my life for good. It was the last "nail in the coffin" of my engagement. It was closure.
Off the subject for a sec - I now realize why it's taken me so long to recount everything - I am royally depressed right now remembering everything and putting it down. With this said, I hope this to be cathartic and freeing to me. Hmm, we'll see...
Anyway, once the truck was sold, I needed my little car, which was left at my house in AZ. I had enough Southwest points to be able to purchase a round trip ticket for $5.00, flying my nephew down for the weekend and have him drive the car back up. It was good to have that car back, though now that I'm dealing with freezing temperatures and snow and sleet, it may need to be traded in for something with a little more girth.
I started my job as Executive Assistant to the COO at Central Utah Clinic on October 29, 2012. I took a $20,000 paycut to accept this job, but I was jobless when it landed on my lap, so actually it was an increase.
Now that the savings I had from my severance are completely depleted, and making so much less, it was time to realize I could no longer afford my house payment. I couldn't wait for the "right" buyer to come along. I owed too much money on the house and where it's located, it was way out of everyone's price range. So we lowered it from $169,900 to $129,900, and I got two offers immediately. Now it's in the bank's hands to bless this short sale. I'm royally bummed that it will mess up my credit, but I'm grateful to have this chance to not be foreclosed on. Oh pray I don't get foreclosed on...
November came and went - my birthday, and Thanksgiving holidays. Being a single female with no children, Thanksgiving is so much better than Christmas and is by far my favorite holiday - Christmas doesn't even come close. I'm grateful for a month of thanksgivings because I feel thankful every day and am so pleased to be able to express it a bit more during the month of November. I also love seeing everyone else's thanksgiving expressions - usually through Facebook.
That leads us to today. Sunday, December 23. Because my mom went to AZ for her Christmas holidays, I decided to go to my sister's ward. It was nice to sit on a bench with a lot of kids who are related to me and listen to an amazing ward choir - one of the best ones I've ever heard, singing my favorite type of songs: Christmas songs. We closed the meeting singing "Silent Night" and I sang that song rather loudly, in my non-soprano voice (prolly embarrassed a niece/nephew or two) and was touched by the season.
I am going to do the same thing for 2013 as I did for 2012. I am going to assign this coming up year a theme word. A friend of mine mentioned this word casually to me on a Facebook post a few weeks ago and it struck a chord in me and I knew without a doubt it's what 2013 will be titled:
SHINE.
I'm excited to see how I will be able to make that word happen for me. Can't wait.
Merry Christmas to you my dear readers, and have a wonderful, WONDERFUL "shiny" new year. I love you.
Tara
