I'm not sure what to write today.
I feel completely disconnected from the world right now.
I got a text from my former boss this morning asking me how I was doing. I haven't cried for days and that text brought out the waterworks.
I really had it good there. This company is incredible and it's because, in large part, of this man who is leading it. It's hard not to be needed any more.
That's all. It's just hard and I need to emotionally move on, something like someone moving on after being told their partner wants a divorce. And I am trying, really and truly trying.
I just need time I 'spose. I have it. I just need to let myself utilize it...
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Explanation
I am going private because I am looking for a job.
I've heard from several reliable sources that the content of my blog could very well be a detriment to me as potential employers use the Internet more and more to research potential employees.
I was initially thinking I would WANT them to read my blog because I wanted them to acquaint themselves with my writing style and my personality.
But I am also aware that the content, the mere fact that I discuss my depression issues and all things that come with it, is not always looked at in the positive light I am trying to bring to it.
I understand.
I won't be keeping it private always. I'll go back to making it public once I'm set with a new job and they know me well enough to not be "afraid" of me dealing with this.
Thoughts?
I've heard from several reliable sources that the content of my blog could very well be a detriment to me as potential employers use the Internet more and more to research potential employees.
I was initially thinking I would WANT them to read my blog because I wanted them to acquaint themselves with my writing style and my personality.
But I am also aware that the content, the mere fact that I discuss my depression issues and all things that come with it, is not always looked at in the positive light I am trying to bring to it.
I understand.
I won't be keeping it private always. I'll go back to making it public once I'm set with a new job and they know me well enough to not be "afraid" of me dealing with this.
Thoughts?
Friday, February 24, 2012
Going Private...
Please email me at LaRueski at g mail dot com if you would like to be invited to read.
Thank you.
Tara
Thank you.
Tara
Thursday, February 23, 2012
What?!?
I need to get better at this. Sorry.
Last week, February 13-18, I had the joy and rapture of going to Maui with a lot of people from my company. We all got to bring a guest, so I brought my oldest sister Leslie. We had a ball. We stayed at a gorgeous hotel, soaked up a ton of sun, ate a lot, shopped a lot and just really enjoyed each other's company and the company of my friends at my company.
The following Monday was President's Day so it was a nice day to relax and un-vacation from the vacation.
But I was excited for Tuesday. If you know me at all, if you've read anything I've written (including posts on Facebook) you know I love my company, my boss and the job I did. I was scheduled for a performance review at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday morning. I've always loved these as they always built me up personally and professionally. I always came away from them inspired.
Tuesday morning came and 10:00 was there and I walked into my boss' office and sat down. We chit chatted for just a moment and then the words that are burned into my memory forever were said, "I am letting you go." I am crying right now as I write these words. They have continually brought tears to my eyes because they continually land in my mind. I AM LETTING YOU GO. Words I have NEVER heard from any employer, much less words I never thought possible from this employer. I'm still stunned to be quite honest.
I was the assistant to the CEO and supported him and his family administratively. He has decided to change the role of his assistant and make it more business-related instead of administrative-related. I don't have an MBA and don't have the business accumen that he needs and so it was the right decision. I honestly believe it and support him in his decision.
But oh boy, I am not happy about it. I'm not angry at all, just not happy and sorely disappointed. I'm awfully discouraged that I won't get to continue to be a part of this incredible company. It's a company that had only 6 people there when I started and as I left the office on Tuesdsay, there were 210-ish employees. I was so excited to be a part of this company's future, as the past had been so exciting / hard / great / inspiring thus far.
I have stock options in the company, so I will be a part of it's future, but only on the outside.
And that makes me sad.
But I'm surprisingly doing okay mentally wise. I haven't "slipped" into the depths of depression that have always been there before. I haven't gotten one single migraine. That's amazing in and of itself. I have a few leads and a LOT of friends looking out for me.
I'm going to be okay. I just HAVE to keep the fear out of my head and replace all negative thoughts with the faith that I have and the faith that others have in me and my abilities.
Whew.
Last week, February 13-18, I had the joy and rapture of going to Maui with a lot of people from my company. We all got to bring a guest, so I brought my oldest sister Leslie. We had a ball. We stayed at a gorgeous hotel, soaked up a ton of sun, ate a lot, shopped a lot and just really enjoyed each other's company and the company of my friends at my company.
The following Monday was President's Day so it was a nice day to relax and un-vacation from the vacation.
But I was excited for Tuesday. If you know me at all, if you've read anything I've written (including posts on Facebook) you know I love my company, my boss and the job I did. I was scheduled for a performance review at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday morning. I've always loved these as they always built me up personally and professionally. I always came away from them inspired.
Tuesday morning came and 10:00 was there and I walked into my boss' office and sat down. We chit chatted for just a moment and then the words that are burned into my memory forever were said, "I am letting you go." I am crying right now as I write these words. They have continually brought tears to my eyes because they continually land in my mind. I AM LETTING YOU GO. Words I have NEVER heard from any employer, much less words I never thought possible from this employer. I'm still stunned to be quite honest.
I was the assistant to the CEO and supported him and his family administratively. He has decided to change the role of his assistant and make it more business-related instead of administrative-related. I don't have an MBA and don't have the business accumen that he needs and so it was the right decision. I honestly believe it and support him in his decision.
But oh boy, I am not happy about it. I'm not angry at all, just not happy and sorely disappointed. I'm awfully discouraged that I won't get to continue to be a part of this incredible company. It's a company that had only 6 people there when I started and as I left the office on Tuesdsay, there were 210-ish employees. I was so excited to be a part of this company's future, as the past had been so exciting / hard / great / inspiring thus far.
I have stock options in the company, so I will be a part of it's future, but only on the outside.
And that makes me sad.
But I'm surprisingly doing okay mentally wise. I haven't "slipped" into the depths of depression that have always been there before. I haven't gotten one single migraine. That's amazing in and of itself. I have a few leads and a LOT of friends looking out for me.
I'm going to be okay. I just HAVE to keep the fear out of my head and replace all negative thoughts with the faith that I have and the faith that others have in me and my abilities.
Whew.
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